sing, be, live, see

My motto in life.  Recently I decided to examine why my motto is such.  Four simple words:  Sing, be, live, see.  I took each element on its own and studied why each meant something to me.

Sing.
"A bird doesn't sing because it has the answer, it sings because it has a song"
Such a lovely and simple concept, singing simply for the sake of singing.  But when I did a bit more examining, I realized that it's so much more than that.  If birds refused to sing simply because they didn't have the answer, would we ever hear birdsong?  It strikes me to think about what springtime would be like without that integral and magical music that accompanies the rising of the sun every morning.  And it brought home to me the fact that I don't have to have all the answers to sing my song.  I have a voice, and I have ideas.  I have the two essential parts of a song.  So why should I stop singing when I don't have the answers?

Be.
"Whatever you are, be a good one"
What a little word that is!  And yet so much is contained in those two letters.  What does it mean, to "be"?  In my opinion, it means more than to simply exist.  It means to exist in such a way that you can feel every fiber of your being vibrating with life.  Hearing the little sounds around you, like crickets or rain on the windows.  Seeing the things that most people overlook--the shape of a cloud, or the colors on a butterfly's wing.  Feeling the coolness of a breeze on your cheek, or the soreness in your legs after a long run.  Smelling the subtle difference of the evening and the middle of the day.  Truly being--alive, aware, amazed.

Live.
"There are only two ways to live life.  One is as if nothing is a miracle.  The other is as if everything is"
Not just survive, but truly live.  Thrive.  Flourish.  Bloom.  Take each day as it comes and embrace it.  Fill each moment with the things that make you happy and that will help you to make each day count.  Leave behind you a legacy that will make everyone smile because of how happy you were able to be with life.  And sometimes, it's okay to say you can't be happy that day.  Sometimes you just need those bad days.  And that's okay too.  But live with no regrets.  Regrets mean that there's something you haven't learned yet.  Don't let opportunities slip through your fingers, but rather create opportunities wherever you go.

See.
"Look at everything as though you are seeing it for the first, and last, time"
Including people.  See them with your ears.  Listen to them.  Let them talk to you, trust you, open up to you.  Often you will be surprised at the things you discover, about those people, about yourself, and about the world around you.  Look up at the sky while the sun is setting.  Admire the colors.  Watch the effortless way a hummingbird darts about.  The veins in every leaf.  The look that a father gives his sleeping child.  Open your eyes, and look...there is beauty and wonder everywhere.  Sometimes we just forget to open our eyes.

"Earth Song" Frank Ticheli

Dear Friend...

Dear Friend,
I just wanted to remind you that we're here.  We have always been here, and we always will be here.  Even if you forget about us.  Even if you forget about the fun times and adventures we've had, we won't forget. 
We'll never forget.
You're important.  You're important to me.  I hope you never forget that, even though you might move on with your life and forget about how important I once was to you too.  We were best friends.  Remember?
I remember.  I'll always remember.  I'll remember Summerfest, and Bear Lake.  Raspberry and oreo milkshakes.  Nerf gun battles.  Action movies.  Pirate adventures.  Rolling down hills.  Skittles.  Little Caesar's pizza.  Choir concerts.  Carpooling to work.  Spy driving.  Famous Dave's. 
But  most of all, I'll remember the way you always made me feel.  Like I'm special, just the way I am.  Like I might have something to offer this world.  Like maybe I don't have to grow up as fast as I thought I did.
This letter is to thank you for that.
And to let you know that I remember.
And a silent prayer that maybe you will remember me sometime, too.

-a Musketeer

"If Only Tears Could Bring You Back" --Midnight Sons

"This Too Shall Pass"

Hey there little girl
with the tears rolling down your face,
I know it's hard to see now
but I promise you'll find your place.

Hey there little girl
different from everyone else
I know right now it feels
like you've been stuck up on a shelf

But this too shall pass,
This too shall pass.

Hey there little girl
Feeling overlooked and unwanted,
I know it feels like everyone
leaves you hurt and disappointed

Hey there little girl
It's okay to feel this way,
And when the sun rises tomorrow
it'll be a brand new day

And this too shall pass,
This too shall pass.

You pride yourself on being different
Different from the rest
And someday someone will see that difference
and realize that it's the best

I know you feel lonely now
but that won't last forever
Just keep pushing on for one more day
you can make it through whatever

Is put in your way
You can make it through today
Through all the pain and sorrow
And if you can make it through today
You can make it through tomorrow

Hey there little girl
Lift your head and dry your eyes
You don't have to be perfect
all you have to do is try

Hey there little girl
Don't be afraid to smile
This pain and loneliness you feel
will only last a little while

And this too shall pass,
This too shall pass

too much, too soon

Have you ever had that experience when you think you're totally over someone...and then you find out you're not?
Yeah.  That happened to me last night.
Here's the story.
I love to go swing dancing.  And every Wednesday where I live there is a place where you can go swing dancing.  So guess what I decided to do last night.
Unfortunately, I'd forgotten that a certain someone and I used to go swing dancing together a lot.
He wasn't physically THERE, like not PRESENT.  But I swear, everywhere I turned, he was there.  Plaid shirts.  Cowboy boots.  Short guys.  Dark, curly hair.  Bandanas.  Designer jeans.  "Crazy Girl".  Line dances.  I couldn't get away from him. 
Maybe I didn't give myself enough time.
That's what I'm hoping. 
Because someday, I want to go swing dancing, and not have it hurt.

Why I Write

So today my English teacher asked us an interesting question:
"Why do you write?"
A bit of an odd question, or so it seemed, to someone like me.  And it took me quite some time before I came up with the answer.
I write because I am an artist.  Art comes in many forms.  Sometimes, my emotions are best expressed when I sit down at the piano and let my fingers flow across the keys, creating something unique and beautiful.  Once in a while I can express myself best through a carefully arranged photograph, or a snapshot of something that snatches something and holds it forever, a moment too quick for the eye or the mind to follow.  Other times, what I feel is better expressed by paint, and the nasty emotions I feel are captured in color and motion, pinned on the canvas for me to examine at my leisure.  And still other times, words are the brush that I use to color my world.  My thoughts, my feelings, my insights and inspirations and inquiries, are simply sometimes best expressed through words. 
Some people say that a picture is worth a thousand words.  But to a writer, the right word is worth infinitely more.

Finals Week

Finals are coming up.  Can I get an "oh, crap!!"?  Hopefully I'm not the only one who's stressing out about them.  But I've discovered some invaluable coping techniques.  They involve arduous studying interspersed with man small breaks and distractions, good food, attempting to sleep (and mostly failing), and copious amounts of chocolate. 
It also helps to think that I have a month-long break following finals. 
I can't help but feel like this is another "how do you eat an elephant" situation. One minute at a time, one assignment at a time, one final at a time.  Until it's over.  
With life so busy and hectic at the moment, it tends to be easy to forget what else is going on right now:  it's almost Christmas!  Actually it's only nineteen days away now (not that I'm counting or anything though).  Anyway this is just my little reminder that life is good. 
To all my friends in college, good luck for the next couple of weeks.  You can do it!!  And when we get done...we have an entire month to forget absolutely everything they just tested us on.  :)  What a lovely thought.  Eat plenty of vegetables, try and sleep if you possibly can.  And stuff...  Who am I kidding, we're going to eat like crap and what on earth is sleeping?!
To all of you who are NOT in college...I hate you.  No, I'm just kidding.  But I am super jealous of you.
To whom it may concern, my birthday is in five days.  Oh, here, happy birthday from Utah State--we'll schedule finals week to start the day after your birthday. 
Good luck, friends!  Keep it real. 

first snow

Ah, the month of November!  When it's finally cold enough to snow!  I often hear people complaining about the snow here in Cache Valley, but I have to be honest...by the time it finally snows for the first time, I'm so ready and so excited!  Snow means blankets, hot chocolate, fireplaces, good books, snuggling, popcorn, Christmas movies, snowball fights, igloos, snow angels and snowmen, sweaters and knee-high socks and the beautiful sight of those microscopic crystalline wonders of nature known as snowflakes. 
The amazingness of the first snow happened just last week.  There is something totally magical about the first snow of the season, something that is never duplicated any other time it snows.  I love the first snow, and I have a few reasons for loving it as much as I do. 
The first reason is that it simply signifies the ending of one season and the beginning of the next.  Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love autumn--it's my favorite season--but by the time it snows, I'm so excited for winter that I'm absolutely ready for fall to be on its way.  Especially this year, where we had a lovely, long fall where all the leaves changed color and fell before it snowed.
The second reason I love the first snow so much is that it means it's time to pull out all my knee high socks!  Don't ask me why I love knee high socks so much, because that's one thing I've never been able to explain even to myself, but I truly do love them.
And the final reason that the first snow is so purely excellent is the complete silence that falls over the whole world, and when you go outside it's like you're in your own private little bubble of hushed atmoshpere with little puffs of white coldness floating slowly down from the sky like tiny frozen feathers.
Friends, we have entered the season of snow.  Here's hoping we can all enjoy its beauty today, tomorrow and as long as it lasts.